*Picture: Me building sandcastles, age 18, Formentera, Spain, 1994
My interests are not hobbies. They are the places where my mind settles, lights up and feels most like itself. I am autistic and ADHD, so when something matters to me, I go all the way in. I research, I build, I collect, I create. My interests are part of my identity and part of how I connect with people. Sharing them is a form of intimacy for me.
Storytelling, film and television
I grew up in entertainment. I was a child actor and later worked in theatre, music, events and large productions, including the Olympics. Storytelling has always been part of my life. I love film and television, especially sci‑fi, because it lets me imagine different worlds and different futures.
*Picture: Me, age 14, helping my dad at a Television & Media event. 1990.
I built my own Plex media servers because I do not want to rely on the big American streaming platforms. I do not want to fund tech billionaires, and I do not want to be fed corporate propaganda disguised as entertainment. I prefer to curate my own library and build a space that reflects my taste rather than an algorithm. It feels more honest and more personal.
I do not subscribe to streaming services except for sport. I enjoy watching cricket, and I follow Formula 1, so I keep access for those. Everything else lives on my own servers. It is my version of a private streaming service, and it means I can share films and shows I care about with people I care about.
Gardening, growing and the natural world
Gardening is one of my deepest long‑term interests. I used to run my own landscape design business and later worked for a vegetable seed breeding company. I grow a lot of my own food, and I am drawn to sustainable, regenerative ways of living. I love nature, foraging, walking, birds and the quiet steadiness of growing things. I am slowly moving toward a more plant‑based life. It feels like the direction I am meant to go.
*Picture: Me, age 14, rescuing a thirsty Robin in Spain. 1990.
Environmental activist
I care about the environment in a practical way. I am interested in solar power, alternative energy, sustainable systems and the science behind how we can live better. I enjoy researching solutions and understanding how things work. It is not abstract for me. It is part of how I want to live.
Making things with my hands
I love creating physical things. I build furniture, kink gear, restraints and equipment. I enjoy leather, metal, tools and the process of turning an idea into something real. I also paint. I like the feeling of making something that did not exist before.
*Picture: Me, age 15, busy decorating. 1991.
Baking, cooking and feeding people
I bake sourdough, and I love cooking. Food is one of my love languages. Acts of service and gift-giving are how I show care, so baking a loaf of bread or cooking a meal for someone is meaningful to me. It is a way of saying I am thinking of you without needing words.
*Picture: Me, age 35, cooking on the barbecue. 2011.
Kink as a lifelong special interest
I have been into kink, bondage and fetish for more than thirty years. It is one of my longest and most consistent special interests. I collect gear, I build equipment, and I enjoy the craft of it as much as the play. I am a bit of a shopaholic with kink items. I buy things because I love their design, engineering, and feel. Some things I never even use. I just enjoy having them and understanding them. The deeper emotional and relational parts of kink live on my Submission page.
Writing and imagination
I write speculative fiction, alternate histories and very erotic, very kinky stories. Writing is a place where my imagination can stretch without limits. It is where I explore ideas, dynamics, and worlds that do not yet exist.
*Picture: Me, age 11, reading a story I wrote. 1987.
Music, performance and creativity
I have worked in music and events, and even though I do not play instruments myself, I love music deeply. I am drawn to people who create, perform and express themselves. Creativity in any form attracts me.
*Picture: Me, age 23, wild at heart. 1999.
Games, strategy and play
I love board games, and I play poker twice a week. Not for money. Just for the strategy and the mental play. My brain is good at patterns, and I can count cards. Games give me a space where focus and instinct meet.
*Picture: Me, age 16, playing Scalectrics in the cellar. 1992.
Cats and Pets
I have always loved animals, but cats are the ones I connect with most. I think cats are a little autistic in their own way. They communicate through energy, routine, and quiet signals, which matches how my brain works. I understand their language, and they understand mine. There is no masking with a cat. There is no performance. They just exist alongside you, and that feels natural to me.
*Picture: Me, age 41, with a 1-year-old Kimmy. 2017.
My cat Kimmy is a big part of my life. She is confident, opinionated and very sure of her place in the world. I joke that she is my boss because she absolutely runs the house. I am already owned, and she decides who gets access to me. I am protective of her, and she is protective of me in her own way. Living with a cat gives me structure, comfort and a sense of home.
Nature, movement and being outside
I like sailing, walking, exploring and being near water. I feel grounded when I am outside. It is one of the places where my mind settles.
*Picture: Me, age 12, walking with my school’s rambling group. 1987.
What this means for connection
When I share an interest with someone, it means I trust them. It means I want them in my world. I enjoy people who are curious, who like learning what makes someone come alive and who enjoy being part of that energy. My interests are part of how I love, how I bond and how I show myself to someone.