There are parts of me I have never hidden, and parts I have kept buried. If you are reading this, I want you to see it all. Not as a mask, not as a story to impress, but as the truth of who I am and where I stand.
🌑 The Past
I was sexualised too young. My innocence was taken before I could even name what was happening. That left me with cravings and shame that were never mine to carry. I learned to mask, to please, to survive by giving what was demanded. Later, when I discovered submission, it felt like coming home. To be owned, to be used, to sign myself away, it made sense of the chaos. I even lived as a 24/7 slave in my twenties. No safewords, no breaks, no games. At the time, it was everything I thought I wanted. Until it broke.
The cracks came from reality. People change. Life intrudes. No contract can protect against neglect or boredom. I was left with a craving that felt like it could never be filled, and a history that was both a wound and a compass.
There was also a time when I tried being a Dom. That is when I met my Ex (I am keeping their name private). I was big on the scene because I knew what submissives wanted, because it was what I wanted too. But I was not a true Dom. I am a submissive. And as my Ex and I grew together, our dynamic shifted into something else. They became my closest friend, and I became a caring, steady presence in their life. Our bond was real, but it was not the same as a power exchange.
☀️ The Present
Now I know myself more clearly. I am autistic. I am ADHD. I overthink and loop and burn out, but I also feel deeply and crave structure with every part of me. Submission is not a game for me. It is the place I find calm, focus, and peace.
I have also learned what submission is not. It is not people pleasing. It is not being broken down for the sake of cruelty. It is not letting someone else neglect me while I give everything. I have stopped seeing myself as weak or as something to be reshaped. I am already whole. Submission is not about being destroyed. It is about being taken as I am and being made more by belonging.
🌱 The Future
I want something real. I want a connection that lasts beyond a contract. I want to submit not because it is written, but because it is lived. I want to serve someone who understands that cold structure can be care, that ritual can be devotion, that control can be love as well as power.
I am ready for this next part of my life. I am not the boy who was used without choice. I am not the slave who signed himself away without protection. I am a submissive who knows exactly what he is, what he needs, and what he will give.
🔑 My Reflections
I have been a slave. I have been a Dom. I have been a partner and a nurturer. But none of those roles defines me like this one does. I am a submissive. I ache to be owned again. Not for a night, not for a scene, but for real.
If you read my words and feel your hand twitch, if you see yourself in the Dominant I am waiting for, then know this: my past has made me, but it does not bind me. I am ready to belong again.
My past has shaped me, but it does not define me. What matters now is how I choose to live, and who I choose to give myself to.
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