Communication

📞 The Struggle
I hate the phone. It demands instant words, instant presence, and instant answers. On the phone, I cannot read people. I cannot see their reactions. It is faceless, emotionless. I am easily misunderstood, and I do not understand them either.

Speaking feelings out loud is the hardest of all. When I am overwhelmed or pressed face-to-face, my voice shuts down. What I feel remains inside me, unsaid.

✍️ Where I Am Honest
When I write, I am open. My words have time to form. I can give shape to what is inside me without interruption. Writing is where I am most myself.

If you want to know what I feel, give me space to write it. Do not push me for quick replies. Do not assume silence means indifference. Most of the time, silence means I feel too much, not too little.

🌊 Collapse Under Pressure
When I am barraged with questions and demands, I collapse. My brain floods, decisions slip out of reach, and I go blank. Pressure does not make me faster. It makes me mute.

The more I am pressed, the less I can say. It is not resistance, it is overload. My truth comes only with time.

🌙 Before Sleep
Nights are fragile. A few hours before sleep, my mind must not be pulled into decisions or heavy talk. It takes nothing to switch me on to overthinking. Once I spiral, I do not rest.

If you want me to be calm, let me close the day gently. No last-minute demands. No new problems. Give me stillness before bed.

🎭 Misread Signals
I am submissive, but I also see things clearly. I read situations well, and often I am right. But I stumble to say it. When I do, it can come out blunt, sharp, or even dominant.

It is not dominance. It is autism. I do not hint. I do not dress words up. I speak the truth as I see it. That honesty unsettles some. It has been taken as rudeness or an attack. But it is never meant as harm. It is simply how my mind works.

🌱 What Works
What I need in communication is simple:

• Clear, direct words. No hints, no vagueness.
• Written messages for what matters most.
• Time to process before I answer.
• A calm, steady tone.
• No sarcasm, no raised voices, no quick-fire questions.
• Do not read eye contact as proof of presence. It overwhelms me.
• Instructions kept simple and concrete.
• Space to pause or walk away if I am overloaded.

🌿 My Reflection
I feel everything, but I cannot always speak it. I write it better than I ever say it. What looks like silence is often intensity. What looks like bluntness is truth without polish. What looks like resistance is collapse under pressure.

I am submissive, but I am not weak. My submission is not silence. It is choice. It is trust. It is giving myself fully when I am met in the ways I can be.

If you want me, you will find me in words written clearly and considered. That is where I live. That is where I am most myself.